Advantages and disadvantages of sexual coming out in families and workplaces, both for homosexuals and groups (families and organizations), are well documented in literature. Instead, studies that analyze advantages and disadvantages of not coming out are missing, probably because it is difficult to find subjects who, for their own nature, live furtively. The article presents a study on 17 patients who are males and adults, live and work in Verona and are not out to their families, nor in the workplaces, nor to their heterosexual friends. Their three main diagnoses (DSM-IV-TR), Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD), Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are put in relation with the three main reasons why they say they do not tell, exemplified by the following three slogans: 1. I wish but I couldn’t (DPD); 2. I should but I don’t want (DOC); 3. It’s none of your business! (DNP).
Keywords: Homosexuality, coming out, psychotherapy, diagnosis, reasons