In recent years, distancing himself from the structural model of the drives and from the traditional idea of an isolated mental apparatus - driven mainly by compromise between conflicting internal forces - some theorists (Mitchell, 1988; Aron, 1996) have focused on interpersonal processes, in the sense that growth and the formation of psychic functions dependence on the type and quality of intersubjective encounter. From this point of view, affection is a "characteristic" of a mutually self-regulating system made up of two or more individuals and a constant feature throughout the life cycle. Partners involved in a relationship would organize their mutual and specific ability to regulate emotional states, and to achieve a balance between internal sense of emotional "distance and closeness". In this view the work with couples should consider both what that partners make of the relationship regarding the function of mutual self-and hetero regulation and processes that are implemented to achieve these goals.
Keywords: Relationship, intersubjectivity, self-hetero-regulation, emotional distance, emotional closeness