At the end of a period of engaged cooperation with a consulting center for abused women the author reflects - with the help of descriptions of perverse relationships, pathological dependence and various kinds of abuse - on the reasons that often lock a woman in a relationship. With the help of a case history, the author shows how one can start to escape from abuse and pathological dependence. The article ends with some personal reflections on the most relevant issues in work with abused women. The author stresses the importance of a sensitive and non-judgmental therapy that should aim to create a "relational home" that never reinforces the victim’s guilt but favors good "anticipatory identification".
Keywords: Abused women, gender identity, abuse, perverse relationships, way out of abuse, relational home