Based on the theoretical elaboration of teachers’ lived experience, our study lays the ground for a critical assessment of online higher education. On the one hand, our analysis investigates an alternative to the hegemonic understanding of learning objectives as fetishized by “measurability” and results-oriented outcomes, which are considered to be subsumed as products of the hyper-industrialized education. On the other, we claim that our research participants operate as neoliberal subjectivities who have to adapt to remote teaching, mobilizing tendencies towards self-empowerment and self-activation.