This paper focuses on the emotional and family dynamics that make some parentsadopted child relationships difficult when the child becomes teenager. The child faces a variety of emotions, and the adoptive parents have to face unique challenges that may lead to having the child removed from his/her family. During the clinical evaluation and/or treatment of these cases, the adopted child relives painful memories of lack of love and affection that are released by the wrestle with issues of sexuality. As a result, the adoptive parents may experience such unsustainable levels of anxiety that they start thinking to have the child removed as a parallel defensive measure. This is closely connected with the parents’ personal experiences, which in the evaluation stage of the adoption process have not been considered as powerful risk factors that may lead to giving up the adoption plan. The authors raise issues about the narcissistic and anti-libido personalities of the couple, which is closely linked to their decision of adopting a child that they consider of the utmost importance. Yet, this connection contains the seeds of potential failure. The authors report on clinical cases that highlight how the problematic issues seem to originate from the adoptive parents not having fully processed their emotions regarding their infertility, and are still competing with childhood and/or oedipal fantasies that their child’s puberty brings back.
Keywords: Adoption failed, adolescence, link perverse.