Love That Hurts: A Gestalt Therapy Approach to Love Addiction

Journal title QUADERNI DI GESTALT
Author/s Matteo Limiti
Publishing Year 2020 Issue 2019/2 Language Italian
Pages 16 P. 99-114 File size 231 KB
DOI 10.3280/GEST2019-002006
DOI is like a bar code for intellectual property: to have more infomation click here

Below, you can see the article first page

If you want to buy this article in PDF format, you can do it, following the instructions to buy download credits

Article preview

FrancoAngeli is member of Publishers International Linking Association, Inc (PILA), a not-for-profit association which run the CrossRef service enabling links to and from online scholarly content.

Starting from the best-seller of the American psychotherapist Robin Norwood, the article - in its first part - tries to find a definition of the concept of love addiction, a well spread suf-fering, known to psychotherapists but still absent from the main international diagnostic manuals. Borrowing the conceptualization of Reynaud et al. (2010), the present paper identifies the phenomenological-clinical and neurobiological similarities between love addiction and drug addiction, and distinguishes between a narrow view and a broad view regarding the treatment of these forms of suffering. In the second part, given the current lack of Gestalt therapy litera-ture, the author tries to apply a Gestalt model for addictions (Pintus e Crolle Santi, 2014) to the construct of love addiction. This attempt refers to several key concepts of Gestalt therapy and takes into account their specific declination by the Institute of Gestalt HCC Italy: creative ad-justment, polyphonic development of the domains, aesthetic diagnosis, figure-ground organi-sation, theory of the self. It is agreed that, as with any other addiction, the intentionality of con-tact moves towards the attainment of an experience of recognition. This is even more true for love addicts, for whom we can hypothesize that their need for a totalizing and saving bond is an attempt to compensate for unsatisfactory childhood experiences characterized by the pres-ence of a caregiver not in tune with their emotional needs. Afterwards, the paper outlines, according to a comparative perspective with the gestalt therapy theory of addiction, the crucial aspects of clinical Gestalt work with love addiction: a non-abstinent approach, the acceptance of the intentionality of contact, the restoring of the fig-ure-ground’s organisation, the resensitisation of the contact boundary and the reowning of spontaneity in contacting the environment, the construction of new and more functional crea-tive adaptations. What has been stressed here is the importance of an aesthetic approach that captures the vitality of the co-created figure between patient and therapist. Finally, the author brings some examples drawn from his clinical experience: Gestalt-oriented psychotherapy with men and women affected by love addiction and his experience as moderator of a virtual community of self-help for people who suffer of this pathology.

Keywords: Addictions, love addiction, creative adjustment, figure-ground organisation, self, polyphonic development of domains, aesthetic diagnosis, intentionality of contact, spontaneity.

  1. American Psychiatric Association (2001). DSM-4-TR. Manuale diagnostico e statistico dei disturbi mentali. Milano: Masson (ed. or.: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 4th ed., Text Revision. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association, 2000).
  2. American Psychiatric Association (2014). DSM-5. Manuale diagnostico e statistico dei disturbi mentali, Milano: Raffaello Cortina (ed. or.: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed. Arlington: American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
  3. Acevedo B.P., Aron A., Fisher H., Brown L.L. (2011). Neural Correlates of Long-term Intense Romantic Love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 7: 145-159.
  4. Aron A., Fisher H., Mashek D.J., Strong G., Li H., Brown L.L. (2005). Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated with Early-stage Intense Romantic Love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 94, 1: 327-337.
  5. Bartels A., Zeki S. (2000). The Neural Basis of Romantic Love. Neuroreport, 11, 17: 3829-3834. DOI: 10.1097/00001756-200011270-0004
  6. Bartels A., Zeki S. (2004). The Neural Correlates of Maternal and Romantic Love. NeuroImage, 21: 1155-1166.
  7. Blatt S.J. (2006). Una polarità fondamentale in psicoanalisi: implicazioni per lo sviluppo della personalità, la psicopatologia e il processo terapeutico. Psicoterapia e Scienze Umane, XL, 4: 743-764.
  8. Borgioni M. (2015). Dipendenza e contro-dipendenza affettiva. Roma: Alpes Italia.
  9. Bowlby J. (1976). Attaccamento e perdita (1): L’attaccamento alla madre. Torino: Bollati Boringhieri (ed. or.: Attachment and loss. New York, NY: Basic Books, 1969).
  10. Bowlby J. (1978). Attaccamento e perdita (2): La separazione dalla madre. Torino: Bollati Boringhieri (ed. or.: Separation: Anxiety and Anger. London, UK: Hogarth Press, 1973).
  11. Bowlby J. (1983). Attaccamento e perdita (3): La perdita della madre. Torino: Bollati Boringhieri (ed. or.: Loss: Sadness and Depression. London, UK: Hogarth Press, 1980).
  12. Conte E. (2005). Glossario. In: Francesetti G., a cura di, Attacchi di panico e postmodernità. La psicoterapia della Gestalt fra clinica e società, Milano: FrancoAngeli.
  13. Breiter H.C., Gollub R.L., Weisskoff R.M., Kennedy D.N., Makris N., Berke J.D., Goodman J.M., Kantor H.L., Gastfriend D.R., Riorden J.P., Mathew R.T., Rosen B.R., Hyman S.E. (1997). Acute Effects of Cocaine on Human Brain Activity and Emotion. Neuron, 19, 3: 591-611. DOI: 10.1016/S0896-6273(00)80374-
  14. Cowan C., Kinder M. (1985). Smart Women, Foolish Choices. New York, NY: C.N. Potter.
  15. Cuzen N.L., Stein D.J. (2014). Behavioral Addiction: The Nexus of Impulsivity and Compulsivity. In: Rosenberg K.P., Feder L.C., a cura di, Behavioral Addictions: Criteria, Evidence, and Treatment, New York, NY: Academic Press.
  16. Diana M. (2013). The Addicted Brain. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 4: 40.
  17. Fenichel O. (1945). The Psychoanalytic Theory of Neuroses. New York, NY: Norton Press.
  18. Fisher H.E., Brown L.L., Aron A., Strong G., Mashek D. (2010). Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated with Rejection in Love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104: 51-60.
  19. Frascella J., Potenza M.N., Brown L.L., Childress A.R. (2010). Shared Brain Vulnerabilities Open the Way for Nonsubstance Addictions: Carving Addiction at a New Joint? Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1187: 294-315.
  20. Freud A. (1979). Normalità e patologia del bambino: valutazione dello sviluppo. Torino: Bollati Boringhieri (ed. or.: Normality and Pathology in Childhood: Assessments of Development. New York, NY: International Universities Press, 1965).
  21. Ghezzani N. (2015). L’amore impossibile. Affrontare la dipendenza affettiva maschile e femminile. Milano: FrancoAngeli.
  22. Giddens A. (1992). The Transformation of Intimacy. Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies. Collingdale, Pennsylvania: Diane Publishing Company.
  23. Goodman A. (1990). Addiction: Definition and Implications. British Journal of Addiction, 85, 11: 1403-1408.
  24. Guerreschi C. (2011). La dipendenza affettiva. Ma si può morire anche d’amore? Milano: FrancoAngeli.
  25. Hazan C., Shaver P. (1987). Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 3: 511-524. DOI: 10.1037//0022-3514.52.3.51
  26. Hazan C., Shaver P. (1992). Adult Romantic Attachment Process: Theory and Evidence. In: Perlam D., Jones W., a cura di, Advances in Personal Relationship Outcomes. London and Bristol, UK: Jessica Kingsley Publisher.
  27. Koob G.F., Volkow N.D. (2010). Neurocircuitry of Addiction. Neuropsychopharmacology, 35, 1: 217-238.
  28. Lingiardi V. (2005). Personalità dipendente e dipendenza relazionale. In: Caretti V., La Barbera D., a cura di, Le dipendenze patologiche. Milano: Raffaello Cortina.
  29. Mahler M.S., Pine F., Bergman A. (1978). La nascita psicologica del bambino. Torino: Bollati Boringhieri (ed or.: The Psychological Birth of the Child. New York, NY: Basic Books, 1975).
  30. Marazziti D., Presta S., Picchetti M., Dell’Osso L. (2015). Dipendenze senza sostanza: aspetti clinici e terapeutici. Journal of Psycopathology, 21: 72-84. DOI: 10.1159/00043875
  31. Matzko Helga M.G. (1997). A Gestalt Therapy Treatment Model for Addiction: Multi-phasic Transformation Process. Gestalt Review, 1, 1: 34-56.
  32. Melis M., Spiga S., Diana M. (2005). The Dopamine Hypothesis of Drug Addiction: Hypodopaminergic State. International Review of Neurobiology, 63: 101-154.
  33. Nanetti F. (2015). La dipendenza affettiva. Come uscire dalla maledizione di una relazione distruttiva... o almeno migliorarla. Bologna: Pendragon.
  34. Norwood R. (1989). Donne che amano troppo. Milano: Feltrinelli (ed. or.: Women who Love Too Much. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster, 1985).
  35. Olds J., Milner P. (1954). Positive Reinforcement Produced by Electrical Stimulation of the Septal Area and Other Regions of Rat Brain. Journal of Comparative and Physiological Psychology, 47: 419-427.
  36. Ortigue S., Bianchi-Demicheli F., Hamilton A.F., Grafton S.T. (2007). The Neural Basis of Love as a Subliminal Prime: An Event-related fMRI Study. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 19: 1218-1230.
  37. Peabody S. (1989). Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press.
  38. Peele S. (1975). Love and Addiction. New York, NY: Taplinger.
  39. Perls F. (1995). L’Io, la fame, l’aggressività. Milano: FrancoAngeli (ed. or.: Ego, Hunger and Aggression: A Revision of Freud’s Theory and Method. London, UK: G. Allen & Unwin, 1947; New York, NY: Random House, 1969).
  40. Pintus G. (2011). Tempo e relazione nel vissuto dipendente. Percorsi ermeneutici e clinici. In: Menditto M., a cura di, La psicoterapia della Gestalt contemporanea, Milano: FrancoAngeli.
  41. Pintus G., Crolle Santi M.V., a cura di (2014). La relazione assoluta. Psicoterapia della Gestalt e dipendenze patologiche. Ariccia: Aracne Editrice.
  42. Reynaud M. (2005). L’Amour Est une Drogue Douce… en Général. Paris, FR: Robert Laffont.
  43. Reynaud M., Karila L., Blecha L., Benyamina A. (2010). Is Love Passion an Addictive Disorder? The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 36, 5: 261-267. DOI: 10.3109/00952990.2010.49518
  44. Salonia G. (2013). L’esserci-tra. Aida e confine di contatto in Bin Kimura e in Gestalt Therapy. In: Kimura B., a cura di, Per una fenomenologia dell’incontro, Trapani: Il Pozzo di Giacobbe.
  45. Schaeffer B. (1987). Is it Love or Is it Addiction? New York, NY: Harper & Row.
  46. Secci E.M. (2014). I narcisisti perversi e le unioni impossibili. Sopravvivere alla dipendenza affettiva e ritrovare se stessi. Lecce: Borè Youcanprint.
  47. Spagnuolo Lobb M. (2011). Il now-for-next in psicoterapia. La psicoterapia della Gestalt raccontata nella società post-moderna. Milano: FrancoAngeli.
  48. Spagnuolo Lobb M. (2012). Lo sviluppo polifonico dei domini. Verso una prospettiva evolutiva della psicoterapia della Gestalt. Quaderni di Gestalt, XXV, 2: 31-50. DOI: 10.3280/GEST2012-00200
  49. Spagnuolo Lobb M. (2015). Il sé come contatto. Il contatto come sé. Un contributo all’esperienza dello sfondo secondo la teoria del sé della psicoterapia della Gestalt. Quaderni di Gestalt, XXVIII, 2: 25-56. DOI: 10.3280/GEST2015-00200
  50. Spagnuolo Lobb M. (2017). La conoscenza relazionale estetica del campo. Per uno sviluppo del concetto di consapevolezza in psicoterapia della Gestalt e nella clinica contemporanea. Quaderni di Gestalt, XXX, 1: 17-33. DOI: 10.3280/GEST2017-00100
  51. Spitz R. (1946). Anaclitic Depression: An Inquiry Into the Genesis of Psychiatric Conditions in Early Childhood. The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 2: 313-342. DOI: 10.1080/00797308.1946.1182355
  52. Spitz R. (1962). Il primo anno di vita del bambino. Firenze: Giunti Barbera (ed. or.: La Prèmiere Année de la Vie de l’Enfant. Paris, FR: Puf, 1958).
  53. Stern D.N. (1982). Le prime relazioni sociali: il bambino e la madre. Roma: Armando (ed. or.: The First Relationship: Infant and Mother. Cambridge, UK: Harvard University Press, 1977).
  54. Stern D.N. (1987). Il mondo interpersonale del bambino. Torino: Bollati Boringhieri (ed. or.: The Interpersonal World of the Infant. New York, NY: Basic Books, 1985).
  55. Wheeler G. (2007). Contatto e creatività: il ciclo della Gestalt contestualizzato. In: Spagnuolo Lobb M., Amendt-Lyon N., a cura di, Il permesso di creare. L’arte della psicoterapia della Gestalt, Milano: FrancoAngeli.
  56. Xu X., Aron A., Brown L.L., Cao G., Feng T., Weng X. (2011). Reward and Motivation Systems: A Brain Mapping Study of Early-stage Intense Romantic Love in Chinese Participants. Human Brain Mapping, 32, 2: 249-257.

Matteo Limiti, L’amore che fa male: una lettura gestaltica della dipendenza affettiva in "QUADERNI DI GESTALT" 2/2019, pp 99-114, DOI: 10.3280/GEST2019-002006